Updated: May 20, 2022
"There is so much good in the worse of us ,
and so much bad in the best of us
that it ill-behooves any of us to talk about the rest of us."
This past year, 2021 , has been one in which I found myself fighting against what was the worse of my life and at the same time, the best of my life. There has been deaths in my family, and death of close friends whom I've held dear to my heart. Yet, on the flip side, there has also been miraculous healings of friends and family, as well.
So as I look back over 2021, the quote above has a special meaning for me. There has been " so much good in the worse of 2021 and so much bad in the best of 2021" that I found myself on a "life-Farris-wheel" of ups and downs. Still, I believe God was calling me to a higher place of reverence in Him so that I can do whatever I can, in my circle of influence to preserve and enhance the dignity and respect every son and daughter of God deserves.
The new year, 2022, brought into my life the worse moments I could have expected... My husband of thirty-eight year fought his last battle with kidney-failure and heart disease... He died on February 25, 2022 at 2:55 am. from a diagnosis of Cardiac Arrest Coronary Artery Disease. At that moment all I could think of through the pain that was squeezing my heart so tightly I could hardly breathe was, "Rest in peace Mr. Husband, my love. You have fought a magnificent fight over the past 13-years".
So, here I am, still in a period of mourning but striving to give my life meaning. My prayer each day is that My Father, God... will break my heart for the things that break His heart. I pray that God will pull my eyes away from me, my pain and insecurities, my fears, my stresses, and draw them toward the needs of those around me: my children, the rest of my biological family, my adoptive sons and daughters, my church family, my caring and loving neighbors, this hurting world.
Those things truly matter to God, our Father... the hurts and needs we have as His children. Isn't it wonderful that our heavenly Father sees us as His lambs and cuddles us close to His heart? This world around us is feeling cold and distant, but God's love is firm and Hs embrace is strong. God's love is my focus as I write each weekly blog. Will you join me on this journey? I promise it will be worth your time.
[Father, may this project be more of You and less of me, in 2022 !]
Elder Elaine J. Jones